Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hey friends, welcome back to Unpayed Christianity, Asher Whitmer here, and we are wrapping up my review of live free making sense of male sexuality. We're ready for chapter 20, the final chapter of the book. So stay tuned. On Friday, we're gonna be releasing the audio version. If you want an audio version, if you know someone who could really benefit from the book, but they probably don't read it, here's a way to get the audio version. It's not gonna be on Audible. Unfortunately, that attempt failed. I tried to do that myself and with the help of freelance editor and everything, and it kind of fell apart embarrassingly, but you will be able to access the audio files that I can get to you so that you can listen to it on your mobile device or wherever as you would in audiobook. But before then, we're gonna wrap up my review.
Speaker 0 00:00:56 I've been listening through the audio files to see, make sure they sound good, make sure it's, it's good to send out, and there's not glitches and so forth in it. I've also been thinking through like, how would I say things differently if I wrote the book today? And there's been a few things that I would say differently, something we'll discuss in this chapter. If you wanna see the previous episodes, go ahead and click the link below. But this chapter is called Worship Sex. Wow. And basically, it's a wrapping up of everything we've discussed in this book. How really what drives us to sexual behaviors that, that we don't want, that we don't like, is that we feel a deep sense of shame, and we're trying to cope with the shame that we have. Um, we're also, we're designed for sex. We're designed for sexual intimacy.
Speaker 0 00:01:49 And so throughout the whole book, I've been trying to display how sex is a part of God's good design, but put it in its proper context in relationship, and then also unpack like why we go after it in ways that God did not design. The one thing that I have a footnote in the book, in the audio version, I, I read it aloud as an aside, but the one thing is what do you do? So the context of sex is to be within a shared rela marriage relationship. And, and the gist of this chapter is that sex is to be an expression of worship. Sex is to be an expression of our relationship for each other. It's not this need, it's not like this. I don't think it's even quite fair to say that it's quite like the need for food. Like you, you need food in order to keep on living.
Speaker 0 00:02:43 I think that that can actually breed some abusive ways of pressuring each other into sex. Um, sex is sure, it's in a sense, an appetite where, where physical beings made for sexual intercourse, sexual relationships. However, it's not impossible to go without sex. It leads us, it, it's a culmination of intimacy as we've addressed in previous chapters. And it, it, it's the full expression of giving yourself to one another. And I would say as a Christian, from my understanding of the scripture, sex is to be an expression of worship for God, an expression of a loving, mutual, loving relationship with my wife. But there's this big question, what do you do if you're single? What do you do? So, so is someone who's single, not able to have a full, deep and meaningful relationship with God? Are they not able to have a full life as God designed them to live?
Speaker 0 00:03:47 Like, did God design, if God designed us all sexual beings, why are not all human beings able to enjoy and have full sexual expression? And so I, I give a footnote and an aside here that I'll just be quite frank with you. I don't interact with that question in this book. That's a, that's a tough question. And so as we end out this review of this book, I I would like to just end it with a question. If you've been tracking with this, you've been following along, I think there's more books, <laugh> to be written, more conversation to have on this subject. There, there are some really, really good books.
Speaker 0 00:04:32 This book by Gregory Coles single gay Christian, is a great starter. It's opposite of mine. It's very thin. He's also written another book, and I can't, I don't have it, but it's also about community and relationships. But he addresses, um, because he's committed to celibacy as a gay Christian. He believes that God's design for marriage and sexual expression is between a man and a woman for life. And yet he has no sexual desire at this point for women. Um, he, he faces same sex attraction. So what is he gonna do with that? Well, he's committed to celibacy. And so he, he's really, really challenging. I find him a challenging read for me personally, just in finding deep and meaningful relationships with people and then ultimately with God, like taking our deep desires, our deep needs to God and living in this state of surrender and yet desire, like not cutting off the desire, but being very vulnerable with the desire, and yet acknowledging that that desire may not be filled this side of heaven.
Speaker 0 00:05:41 And so that, that's a tough question. I'm not even gonna attempt to try to give an answer right now because it's a much larger conversation to have. And I would love to end this review just with the question, what do you think? How can singles live healthy lives, has emotional sexual beings? Because being single is not like second best. Being single is not like the goal of life is not to get married. The goal of life is not even to have sex. And sometimes even those of us in the church end up creating a narrative that make it sound like the goal of life is to get married, have a family, have sexual fulfillment. The goal of life is to be conformed into the image of Jesus. And so what are ways, maybe even we who are married, what are ways that we should shift in our mindset, in our lifestyles to more accurately reflect and create communities that are not obsessed with, with sex and family, but rather acknowledge it as a part of a much larger expression of worship and glory for God? I don't know. Is that clear to you? If you have further questions about that, feel free to drop that in the comments also.
Speaker 0 00:07:05 But the gist of the final chapter and the gist of the book is that sex is good. God wants you to experience sex. He's not trying to withhold it and say, oh, you should not have it. Don't, don't want sex. But he's designed it for marriage. What leads us to pursue it in ways he did not design. Part of that is because we, we attempt to cope with shame and wounds that we experience. And that's what this book is designed to help you with, is to find healing from those wounds, to identify root struggles with your, the lust that you face. And to help you at least peel back the curtain, get a glimpse of a larger purpose for which God made you. I would love to hear your thoughts, your feedback on the book on this series. As you listen to me, review it, feel free to message me or drop a comment. If you want the book, there's a Black Friday deal going on right now. It's, the book is cheaper than you'll ever get it any other place
Speaker 1 00:08:08 Unless you're local. If you're local, I can get you a copy cheaper than
Speaker 0 00:08:13 Amazon <laugh>. But if you're not local, then unfortunately go through Amazon. So anyways, we'll be back on Friday. I'll be back announcing the release of the audio version, and then we won't be releasing episodes every day, quite like I've done for the month of November here, but back on more of a, a weekly cycle. But thanks for following along with me. It's, it's been fun kind of to do this <laugh>. It's always somewhat awkward to read your own writing, but um, I've enjoyed going back through it and see how, yeah, some things I would say differently. But then also I'm grateful for what, what I did say, how I did frame it. I would love to hear feedback from you, what do you think? How could I improve it? And until next time, grace and peace.
