Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hello friends. Welcome back to Unpayed Christianity. We are in the middle of reviewing my book, Live Free Making Sense of Male Sexuality. We're celebrating the four year anniversary since we published the book. Also getting ready to release the audio version the end of this month. So looking forward to that. There's also something I told you about at the beginning that we're gonna run a Black Friday deal, and I got to thinking like, why wait till Black Friday when we could run it right now. So you all, if you're wanting to follow along and read the book while I'm reviewing the book, you could and you could, you could get it at a good price. So starting today, there is a, if, if you buy the Kindle version, you can get the book 70% off. Normally it's a $10 Kindle book right now. You can get it for $3 if you want the hard, hard copy.
Speaker 0 00:00:59 It's, it's soft cover, not a hard cover, but the, the actual physical book, you can get that for about 30% off 30, it's like $13 instead of $17, whatever that comes out to be. So just click the link below, it'll take you right to the book, uh, website page and get you over to Amazon where you can buy the book. I'm running a deal. This is the Black Friday deal. We'll start it now and we'll go through the end of the month probably. But this is your chance. If you've wanted, maybe you've been following along on these reviews and it's peaked your interest, or maybe you've heard about it or maybe you want to get it for some friends, uh, like a holiday gift or whatever. Maybe you just are looking to take a group of guys through it and you would like a discount on the books.
Speaker 0 00:01:49 You can get the Kindle version 70% off. You can get the hard copy version like one that I have here in my hand for about 30% off right now. So go ahead and click the link below if you've missed any of the previous episodes where we're reviewing each chapter. Just, there's also a link for that. I have a ton of links below you'll notice, but that just takes you over to where you can see the previous episodes. You can sign up for the, the email list that sends out the daily episodes because I didn't wanna, you know, pester everybody with an email every day. But some of you wanted to have these sent every single day. And so there's a list you can join if you don't wanna miss any one of these reviews. We've done seven chapters so far, and today is chapter eight, Mud Pies in a Slum or a holiday at the Beach. And basically this chapter is introducing a couple of things. First of all, I'm introducing this idea that we actually struggle with desire.
Speaker 1 00:02:59 Now, some of us think that we desire sex too much, like that's the problem. If only I wouldn't have such a strong sex drive. I'm suggesting that's actually not the problem. The problem is we don't desire enough God's design like we settle too quickly for a cheaper form of sex, for a cheaper form of pleasure. Even that there's a greater pleasure when we pursue the hard work of relationship when we have sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship with the ups and the downs that come with it. The other thing that I address actually before wrestling through this notion that we don't desire enough, is just looking at what is lust. And sometimes we think that desiring something that I can't have or isn't mine to have that, that's lust. I would suggest that that's not a very robust definition of lust. I think a better definition of lust is like wanting something that I, I am supposed to have or I am allowed to have, but wanting to fulfill it in a way that, that God doesn't want me to design.
Speaker 1 00:04:21 <laugh> gotta mess that one up, that God didn't design me to want it, um, fulfilled to, to have it fulfilled. I'm sorry, it's kinda late in the day when I'm recording this. So let me say that again. I would suggest a better definition of lust is wanting. So, so we have this desire, God has given us this desire. It's a good desire, but we're wanting it fulfilled in a way that God didn't design it us to be fulfilled. So if I'm wanting sexual pleasure and I'm going to pornography, or I'm maybe even masturbating or going, you know, having sex with somebody else that's not my wife, that's trying to fulfill sexual pleasure, sexual intimacy, which God designed for me to want a desired God created within me, trying to fulfill it in a way that he did not design it to be fulfilled. So I don't know if that makes sense or not after all my ramblings around, but that's kind of, that's what this chapter introduces. And then at the very end of the chapter is just beginning to, we, we looked in the last chapter, we looked at pain and wounds, the chapter before that looked at the insecurities that we can tend to live out of. And so now we, we dig into that a little bit and how we are, we have these desires and we're either trying to stifle them or we're settling for a lesser form of pleasure, like a lesser form of
Speaker 2 00:05:56 Fulfilling this desire. And we, we end up becoming addicted to that because it's filling that pain that wound. And we need somebody beyond ourselves. We can't just stop, just take this desire away. No, we're made to have this desire and so we're needing something to help us. We need a messiah. So that's kind of the summary of chapter eight. I'll be honest with you, I didn't, I didn't really, nothing struck me that I would say differently. I quote, there's a great quote from CS Lewis in here. I always love when I can throw quotes in, especially from people like CS Lewis. I quote a few studies I looked at, Yeah, this chapter kind of brings in, So the last chapter introduced this idea that wounds can cause us to become addicted. This chapter brings in some data, some studies from psychology as well as other sex therapists that are completely secular. Like they're not, they're, they're just trying to understand like our sex drives and everything. Um, it just helps provide some scientific backing for this notion that when we are wounded, we tend to, trauma tends to find a coping mechanism in our sexuality, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2 00:07:21 I would love to hear if you have any thoughts, if you've read the chapter, if you wanna read it and you wanna get the book for really cheap, you can do it today. You can go ahead and sna the Black Friday deal. Now. I'd love to hear your feedback if you, yeah, if there's any questions you have about it or you're like, Hey, you don't want to change this, what about this? Um, share in the comments below or shoot me a message. I always enjoy hearing from you.
