Episode Transcript
Speaker 0 00:00:00 Hi, friends, Asher Whitmer with Unfitting Christianity. Back again, reviewing my book, live Free, making Sense of Male Sexuality. We have reviewed 13 chapters, that's all of parts one and two of my book, and we're doing this in celebration of publishing it four years ago. Also prepping for the audio book that we're gonna be releasing later, later this month. But we're also reviewing it because there are things I would say differently as I, if I wrote it today. And so just to kind of communicate with you and have a conversation with you, uh, readers or potential readers about what I would maybe say different. Also, just kind of hoping to model how we can interact with, with each other's works because there are things that we all say that, you know, later could be improved upon or maybe I would love to hear. I haven't really bumped into anything where I feel it's dangerous written the way it is.
Speaker 0 00:01:04 Um, I would just say it differently. There's some things I've learned theologically that, you know, I, I would word as I'm walking through Romans, I would, I would say it differently. If you wanna learn some of those things, go ahead and click the link below. You'll be able to see past episodes where we're reviewing this book, but we're getting into this section where I knew before reading it that I, there are things in here I wanna say differently. It's interesting now as I read it, it's like, I'm not sure I would actually say much differently. It's just, I, I, what I would say differently, and I touched on this in the last episode, is that I wouldn't limit some of the descriptions for what men are made for. I, I would, I wouldn't limit them to men. And I would also want to nuance. So for instance, this chapter 14, the one we're reviewing today, the title is more Than Conquerors.
Speaker 0 00:02:02 And I thought about it when I published the book because I'm, I'm trying to reference verse in Romans, but in light of kind of our stereotypes of gender roles and so forth, I hope people don't assume that I'm talking about men being conquerors more than conquerors. They're, you know, going out and conquering over the world. I do play, I do play a little bit. I think I, I don't know, because I can tell that I'm trying not to play into this stereotype, but rather I'm trying to, so I start off by reading a couple passages in the Old Testament where there's a war battle going on, and it's just a, a, a story that to me kind of excites me. It's like, oh, I, I get excited about this and, and play on that. Why is that? Why, why do we as men get drawn into that?
Speaker 1 00:02:58 Does that mean we're made for war, we're made for fighting, and I do believe we are. Here's what I would nuance, here's how I would nuance that. So are women, like all of humanity is made to be a part of pushing forward God's glory and his purpose, and having dominion over the world. Dominion doesn't mean like you're subjugating everything to you and you're conquering dominion simply means like having rulership and, and it's a, is a kingdom terminology. So you don't, you don't go out and have dominion over your enemies. You go out and conquer your enemies. And dominion is what you rule over. And so you're gonna create laws and you're gonna create, uh, systems, put in systems that help the society thrive and, and to be able to experience life. And so that's our commission as mankind is to have dominion over the earth in a way that reflects the goodness and the beauty that God designed, not in a way that reflects death and kinda self-centeredness and, and warring and striving between, between, man.
Speaker 1 00:04:11 So, so I think I would nuance that a little bit. Like we are all made to be a part of this battle, and there's many ways to have dominion. One may be what is more known as a soft skill. Um, something that's not like rugged manless go out and hunting and conquer. Um, you know, a, a man may have dominion exercising a soft skill, a woman may be more interested in, in, you know, I know women that are great leaders, <laugh>, that are, you know, that have great business ideas. And so I think, I think we need to be careful that we don't create this, make people feel self condemned because their interests and what they seem skilled at are like somehow not God's design. Um, the Bible doesn't make clear that, you know, a woman should never build a house or a a, you know, a man should never work in a bakery or <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:05:20 I, I'm just kind of pulling random you, I review my stereotypes by the examples I use, right? Um, so yeah, I think, I think that's the biggest thing. Like a actually reading through this chapter, I was like, no, this is, this is good. Like, I, I still very much agree with it. I would just nuance that aspect a little bit, write it in a way that doesn't make it sound like this is what men are. Men's design is to go out and be whatever, because not, not all men feel the passion about that. Like, they might actually feel the passion about doing something that appears like a soft skill. I don't know if I'm even using that term soft skill, if everybody understands what I mean by that. I'm saying like, building houses, that's a hard skill. It's a physical manual labor. A soft skill might be writing, might be, um, you know, working indoors, working, um, with your mind, where, where, where you're being creative, um, an artist, a musician, like those are more soft skills.
Speaker 1 00:06:38 And so I don't think we should limit some of these skills to men and women allow, yeah. Allow interest to thrive and to flourish. So the basic premise of this chapter is that our section, like God wants to invite us into a, I don't know, an epic narrative is how I would say it today. Maybe I didn't say it in this book, but in, into a story that we are a part of something and we're, we're like, through our physical beings, our sexual natures. Like we are going out and fulfilling God's design. And so our sexuality shouldn't be something that is, you know, we try to control or stifle or like somehow not let it be too vivid or too much, but actually rather, no, that's the very thing that fuels your creativity, fuels your, your, your vision for, for doing things that create goodness and beauty in the world.
Speaker 1 00:07:46 And I particularly tease out this concept. Sometimes we worry so much like, what is God's will for my life? And I don't know about you, but I know I don't personally know anybody, and I've personally really, really struggled with this. Like, I've tried, God, what is your will? And it's just, it's just kind of silent. I don't know anybody who has like, oh yeah, I discovered God's will because God, I prayed and he made it vividly clear to me, rather God places like he shows us things and then he places burdens on our hearts, and he wants to see if we want it for his glory. And so I think we should shift. And, and that's what this, the point of this chapter is, is to try, try to create a shift, first of all to help us see how our sexuality is a part of much bigger things in life than just sex. And also how like the, the things you want to do, the things you're burdened about, maybe that's actually telling you and kind of guiding you
Speaker 2 00:08:54 Into what you're supposed to do with your life. And this whole concept of being more than conquerors is that all of a sudden, instead of being these men that are bound at the head of every street, because we're caught by lust and we can't even defend for the glory of God and be a part of his restoring work. Now not only are we free from Lus, but now we're going out and we are actively finding places and avenues to disciple people and to reconcile others back to the creator and back to their original design. And it's our sexuality that's fueling that, that's energizing that, that's the concept. We're more than conquer. So not only are we bound and we're free from that bound, but now we're, we're actually going out and having dominion. And what I suggest in this chapter, which I believe is that the, the, the, I forget how I word it, but the, the biggest, um, way that we conquer, I use that word conquer because I'm trying to play to our, our drive, our interest in war and, and battle and so forth.
Speaker 2 00:10:06 But the way we conquer is by being a part of God's restoring work, that that's a form of conquering. I don't think we should do that through violence and through aggressive natures where we don't have thought of the other human beings, of the other people made in the image of God. Um, and so I think that's probably one word I would use differently. I'm not sure I would use conquer, but that's, that's the, the whole goal that God has for us is that not only are we no longer trapped in sin, but now we're going out and discipling and helping other people become not trapped in sin, helping other people live as God designed to reflect and bear his image. So I, I was actually somewhat surprised. I thought I would read this chapter and be like, oh, there's a bunch of things I'd change.
Speaker 2 00:10:54 I'm grateful that I don't actually come away with that. I, I think I would leave a lot of it, I would just nuance it so that it doesn't sound like these are just man things or just woman things, but, but that this is a mankind thing. This is a mankind purpose, both male and female. Sexuality is for a larger purpose, a larger story. We're gonna get into that in the next chapter, chapter 15, in the middle of something bigger than ourselves. I'd love to hear your feedback. If you have any thoughts on this conversation, maybe you haven't read the book yet, but you have some thoughts, some feedback in light of what you've heard in this video, feel free to leave a comment engaged. Don't be scared off if you haven't read it. If you have read it, I'd definitely love to hear. What, what are you thinking as you go through these reviews? If you haven't read it and you want to read it, there is a really good deal going on right now. You can get, if you buy the Kindle
Speaker 3 00:11:52 Version version, you get it 70% off on Amazon, there's a link in the description, the hard copy version is 30% off. That deal is good through the end of the month, and then the deal's gonna go away, and you'll have to pay full price again. So if you would like to read the book for yourself, go ahead and buy it. This also supports my work as an author. I am currently working on another book, so I don't know that I'll do reviews of every book four years later, but I just, I, I thought it would be interesting to go through this one and kind of see, especially because I know, I knew that there were some things that I would probably say differently. And so anyways, thanks for being a part of this journey with me. And we have about six more chapters left, so we'll see you tomorrow.
